The quickest way to a man's heart
by Natarie
Summary: "One regular okonomiyaki, please, no mayo." Still wincing, Phoenix tried to keep his smile in place. "Sorry, we're out of eggs right now." The man looked at him, looked at the menu printed on the side of the truck, and raised an immaculate eyebrow. Yikes. Ridiculous Pancake Man AU where Phoenix runs a food truck and everyone else is the same


A/N: A fill for the prompt "ace attorney au!" over at my tumblr (username magicabout)

Cross-post with my ao3 account (same username as here)

* * *

This was why, Phoenix thought for the eighteenth time (that _day_ ), you didn't go into business with your friends. Larry could be counted on for—well, a sympathetic ear if nothing else—but as a supplier he was woefully lacking. He checked his phone again, as if he might have missed a call or text in the three minutes since the last time he'd looked- Nothing. Larry was going to owe him free dinner for a _week_ if he didn't get his butt over soon with Phoenix's stock.

A cough interrupted his daydreams of where he wanted to make Larry foot the bill and Phoenix quickly pasted his customer-friendly smile on as he sat up.

"Hi, thanks for choosing Wright Express, what can I get you?"

He glanced at the customer standing in front of the window and winced reflexively. Oh god, he could already tell this wasn't going to be good. Larry owed him _beer_ , possibly an entire keg.

The man standing in front of him looked like he'd stepped off the pages of a magazine—though a very peculiar one considering the eye-catching color of his suit. Not that Phoenix was qualified to judge suits, but it looked well-fitted and he doubted the man would bother pairing a cravat (of all things!) with a cheap suit.

"One regular okonomiyaki, please, no mayo."

Still wincing, Phoenix tried to keep his smile in place.

"Sorry, we're out of eggs right now."

The man looked at him, looked at the menu printed on the side of the truck, and raised an immaculate eyebrow. Yikes.

"You're… out of eggs."

"Yeah." He could _feel_ his smile getting too wide the way Maya said it did when he was nervous, but he couldn't stop it. "My supplier is running late."

And would be running _into oncoming traffic_ if he didn't show his sorry face soon. The only reason he hadn't been redialing Larry for the past half-an-hour was because at nine AM the only customers he'd seen were desperately in search of caffeine, not food.

No eggs nixed most of his menu, the trickle of oil he had left nixed everything else, and he was out of _napkins_. This looked like a guy who would want napkins with his food. And like a guy who would immediately look up Phoenix's truck and leave a truly scathing review, the kind that would haunt him for days, just like the guy's current unimpressed look.

"Is there anything you _do_ have?"

"Uh. Soda. And bottled water. Juice?" Phoenix smiled wider. His face hurt.

"Fine. I will have a can of diet soda."

Phoenix reached into the depths of the fridge to find the coldest soda available and waved away the offered bills.

"Just take it. Sorry about the inconvenience."

The man turned to go and, even knowing from personal experience that it probably wouldn't work but having to try anyway, Phoenix called him back. He nearly folded under the force of that arched eyebrow, but he mustered his strength and reached for the little pile of cards he kept by the register.

"Here- It's a punch card for frequent customers, and it has our hours and route on the other side. Come back again and I'll throw in a free order of inarizushi."

The man actually took the card, which Phoenix considered a success overall, and turned it over in his hands.

"How will you remember to give me the order? It's not one of the rewards."

"Don't worry about it," Phoenix promised, trying very hard to keep his eyes on the man's face and not on his pink suit, "I never forget a face."

He looked doubtful of this pronouncement—Phoenix couldn't blame him considering he was the current owner of an okonomiyaki food truck that was out of _eggs_ —but nodded anyway.

Two minutes later Larry showed up, apologetic and rambling some over-the-top story about why he was late. Phoenix just sighed and helped him unload the supplies. When something smelled, it was definitely the Butz. 

* * *

Over the next week he had Maya keep an eye out for any potentially life-scarring reviews, but when none appeared he more or less forgot about the Cravat Customer until the day he saw a familiar shade of pink waiting in line.

Phoenix ducked back to get Maya on the guy's order, just so he'd be able to say "Hi again. I've started your order already, but is there anything else I can get you?" with what was probably too much enthusiasm considering the circumstances of their last meeting, but Phoenix couldn't help it. That a fussy guy like this decided to give his food a second chance made him really happy.

The man looked—well he had kind of a stern face in general, but he wasn't actively disapproving like last time, so that was something.

"One regular okonomiyaki, please, no mayo."

Same as last time, made sense. Phoenix got it started and saw to the next customer in line, delivering the order with a smile and a cheery request to come back next time and make sure to present his punch card when he returned. Though he saw other repeat customers, Cravat Guy was definitely the highlight of the day.

Sometime later Phoenix was checking the till when he and Maya could finally breathe post-lunchtime rush. He turned to retrieve some straws he'd knocked over earlier and never had time to pick up, only to find Maya standing right behind him beaming. Personally he didn't think cleaning the fry top was that enjoyable, but Maya was a strange girl so he ignored her and tried to pretend she hadn't just about scared him into an early grave.

"Nick! That guy from earlier—in the pink suit. Does he come here often?"

"What? No, that's the second time so far. Why?"

Maya gaped at him and Phoenix had a sinking feeling. Had the guy left a negative review after all?

"Nick, how can you not know who he is?"

There was no point repeating that he'd only seen the man twice. Clearly Maya wanted to share the news herself and who was he to deny her the drama?

"Food critic? Have I doomed the business?"

She completely ignored his jokes, staring at him in astonishment.

"He's the prosecutor's office Star Prosecutor!" When Phoenix didn't react she huffed in frustration. "Miles Edgeworth! Haven't you seen him in the papers?"

"I only read the Food & Culture Section," Phoenix confessed with a guilty laugh. "Unless he's covering embezzlement at Le Petit Poussin, or something, there's no way I'd hear about him."

"Honestly, Nick! The Top Prosecutor in the city comes to your truck and you don't even know! This is your chance to make an impression on someone who can get your name out there!" Her expression turned sly. "I bet _he_ appreciates a good burger."

Phoenix rolled his eyes. It always came back to hamburgers with Maya.

"I already explained this," he said patiently. "If we diversify too much we won't be competitive anymore, and it wouldn't really fit with the menu anyway."

"I know, I know," Maya pouted.

"Maybe one day when you have your own truck _you_ can serve burgers."

"Hey, yeah, I should totally do that!" She clapped her hands in excitement, eyes sparkling as she considered her hypothetical food truck. "It'll be so popular we'll give Gant's Demon Dogs a run for their money!"

Phoenix smiled as he listened to Maya ramble on about her future plans, and didn't point out that she was placing herself in competition with a business known for their hot dogs instead of a burger place.

The quiet, stylish little bistro had been Mia's dream, a place with ambience where people felt comfortable and could relax with each other and delicious food. Phoenix had wanted something different—to democratize food, taking good quality ingredients to the streets where his familiar, tasty offerings would be satisfying year-round. After Mia's death he and Maya had agreed that pursuing his vision would have been what Mia wanted him to do, and closed the restaurant. The money from leasing the land would be there for whenever or whatever the Fey sisters needed, whether or not they followed Mia's footsteps into the culinary world.

Maybe owning a food truck wasn't anybody's idea of a glamorous culinary enterprise, but if it was what Maya wanted to do he'd support her every step of the way. It was what Mia had done for him when he'd decided to go to cooking school, and now that she was gone it would be his duty to help her little sister in her place.

Phoenix replaced the fallen drink straws and carefully interrupted Maya's increasingly grandiose plans, watching her eyes brighten when he suggested working out possible dessert options on their off day.

* * *

"Star Prosecutor" Miles Edgeworth became a regular customer, generally stopping by once a week but sometimes making repeat visits. Each appearance felt like a glowing review to Phoenix considering their rocky start, and he greeted the prosecutor with a beaming smile and a request for his punch card every time he ordered, just as he did for all his regulars. He'd yet to see Edgeworth crack a smile in response, but time had lessoned the forbidding quality of his eyebrows and Phoenix didn't think he was imagining the slow softening of the other man's sternness.

Still, he didn't particularly _know_ the prosecutor—not like the other regulars who'd hang around to chat after they'd received their orders—so he was surprised one day when Maya popped up beside him and let out a gusty sigh.

"Poor Mr. Edgeworth! I hope he's doing all right, what with everything going on right now."

Phoenix followed her gaze to where said man had stopped, juggling his food with an irritated frown as he retrieved his ringing phone.

"What? Why?"

"Nick!" Maya rolled her eyes at him.

"You seriously need to pay more attention to current events. The DL-6 Case is running him ragged; it's all over the news. There's even been accusations that he was involved in the murder! It's weird there's no press hounding him right now, actually. Maybe that's because it's still too early for lunch. Oh, I hope he's not here because he spent the night at the office!"

Come to think of it, now that Maya pointed it out it was true Edgeworth looked more than just irritated—he looked tired. His bangs appeared flattened on one side and his normally pristine favorite pink suit jacket was wrinkled. He'd also asked for an iced coffee instead of his normal diet soda, which Phoenix hadn't thought anything of as a mid-morning beverage choice, until he'd realized that it was an uncharacteristic order for the prosecutor.

Phoenix browsed the news for the DL-6 Case during the quiet moments and at the end of the day after he came home, but the subsequent results were so confusing he eventually gave up in favor of cooking dinner. But though he might not understand the particulars of the case or the complicated legal jargon, he did understand that the quiet prosecutor who'd given his food a second chance had an important stressful job and didn't get proper credit for his work—judging from some of the wilder and swearier comments on the articles he'd skimmed. In short, Edgeworth deserved better. Phoenix couldn't offer much support from the legal side, but maybe there was something else he could do to help.

* * *

"Vegetable rolls?"

Maya looked down at the fry top as if it might have vanished in the wake of Phoenix's slanderous announcement.

"Right, I thought we could start offering seasonal menu items. Cold vegetable rolls will be very refreshing in the summer."

"Nick…" Maya's doubt changed into worry. "It's December."

"Exactly! It's almost spring—best to get started on the product testing now."

Oh, god, he was doing the smiling thing again, he could just tell by the light in her eyes that Maya was on to him. She didn't say anything though, only stared at him a beat longer and shook her head slowly before turning away.

After much thought Phoenix had decided that the best thing for the overworked man who did so much for their Justice System was to make sure he had adequate nutrition, but while he was happy with his business his menu did seem overly-populated with fried foodstuffs and could stand to gain from non-fried additions of the vegetable variety.

He'd expected more criticism from Maya over the proposed menu changes, but since he'd never quite figured out how to convince her he wasn't going to question his good luck. Phoenix breathed a sigh of relief and went back to looking over the inventory records, hoping the rest of his plan was as successful.

* * *

"I didn't order this."

"Oh, that's a freebie." Phoenix smiled, glad he'd worked out what to say ahead of time. "Product testing with the regulars, you know, because you're less likely to stop coming if it's a flop."

Edgeworth didn't respond to the weak joke, blinking down at the vegetable roll with so little reaction Phoenix started getting nervous, contrary to his stern self talking-to that he wasn't doing anything wrong to be guilty about.

"Don't tell me you're allergic to shellfish?"

He swallowed back his nervous laugh when the prosecutor suddenly looked at him, eyes sharper than they'd been a moment ago. Phoenix saw the tiredness—in the bags under his eyes, that he'd made another mid-morning pre-lunch visit—understandable after the heart-wrenching revelation during the case that the prosecutor had been carrying misplaced guilt over the death of his father. But in that moment what he noticed most was a fiercely intelligent man, not a weary public servant, and thought with a jolt that _this_ was the person defendants saw facing them across the courtroom.

"No," Edgeworth glanced at his food just long enough for Phoenix to suck in a much-needed breath. "I'm not allergic to anything."

"Oh. That's, uh, that's great!"

The prosecutor nodded briefly, picked up the roll and, without taking his eyes from Phoenix, took a bite. He chewed for what felt like a small eternity, swallowed, and offered ( _oh my god!_ ) what had to be the tiniest smile Phoenix had ever seen.

"It's good, thank you."

And then he was gone, back to uphold truth and justice, and thankfully taking his laser interrogation eyes with him. Phoenix breathed a sigh of relief, only to yelp when Maya appeared next to him to peer out at the erstwhile prosecutor.

"No allergies," she said cheerfully. "That's good."

"Right. Definitely."

Maya looked at him, then looked out the window again even though Edgeworth had disappeared.

"You look a little red, Nick. You'd better not be getting a cold."

He laughed, scratching absently at the back of his head. "I'm fine! Just the post-holiday grind and working out the new menu options, you know how it is."

Maya nodded, but Phoenix had the strange feeling she'd wanted to say something else.

* * *

The new menu items were a success, out of season or not. Phoenix handed them out not just to Edgeworth but to his other regulars, reasoning that product testing was product testing and it was nice to have more feedback than just himself and Maya. Larry didn't count because he'd eat anything, and Phoenix didn't flatter himself that any amount of effort could make his cooking special.

Working out the stock requirements to make everything full-time kept him busy, a welcome distraction from the increasing number of times he caught Maya watching him behind his back when she thought he couldn't see. He wasn't sure what that was all about and was starting to get a bit paranoid. So it was a relief when Maya discovered a weakness for drawing weird shapes in the crepe batter and serving them to their bemused customers. Phoenix encouraged her avant garde frying experiments and enjoyed their upsurge in popularity.

Maya had set up some online thingummy that allowed people to prepay and order ahead of time, and was slowly teaching him how to work the app for it. In addition, sometime in the past few months they'd acquired a following among the police and it was now unusual to go more than two days without an officer showing up with orders for half their precinct. Between "Star Prosecutor" Miles Edgeworth's regular visits and the new police patronage Phoenix joked with Maya they'd be set if one of them needed help covering up a crime.

"Doesn't it seem like too much of a coincidence?" Maya asked as she retrieved some drinks from the fridge.

"Doesn't what seem like too much of a coincidence?" Phoenix slid the sizzling pancake into a take-out box and plopped the container next to her.

"You know- with the police."

"What?"

But when Phoenix looked over his shoulder Maya was distracted by another customer, and his question went unanswered in the rush of starting new orders.

"Sorry," a customer said in a too-loud voice when Maya double-checked his order. "Mr. Edgeworth told me to come, but I've never actually been here before."

Phoenix perked up at the prosecutor's name and snuck another glance behind him. The unfamiliar customer was a big man in a battered olive trench coat. In his rumpled suit and tie he didn't seem like the sort of person who would know the stylish prosecutor, but it wasn't as if Phoenix knew that much about him after all.

"Oh! You know Mr. Edgeworth?"

Phoenix reminded himself he was supposed to be cooking food and not eavesdropping on Maya gossiping with the customers.

"Mr. Edgeworth's my boss. He's in court today, but he sent me over to get lunch." He sounded a lot more excited about taking orders from his boss than most people would be.

"Hey, he comes here pretty often, doesn't he? He must really like the food."

Maya chattered something cheerful in reply, but Phoenix wasn't listening. Miles Edgeworth liked his food! Which, ok, he knew that. Obviously the man liked his food or he wouldn't bother coming, not after that disastrous first time. But knowing abstractly that the prosecutor liked his food was different than knowing he'd liked the food enough to send a colleague to fetch some for lunch while he was working.

When the food was done Phoenix cast a critical eye over the other orders cooking, decided they could wait a few seconds, and dished out some of the orange ginger-glazed edamame he'd noticed the prosecutor seemed to like.

"If you're delivering to Mr. Edgeworth, can you give him this? And let him know I owe him a new punch card, will you?" The cool air under the awning felt nice on his overheated face. He'd check the temperature of the grill in a moment—if felt a little too hot all of a sudden for some reason.

"Sure thing, pal! And, hey, can I sign up for that punch card thing too?"

Maya set him up with a new punch card and Phoenix tended to the neglected orders, but he made a note to set aside something extra the next time Edgeworth's colleague came by.

* * *

Detective "Call me 'Dick,' pal" Gumshoe became another of their regulars, and unlike his boss he actually stayed to chat sometimes when they weren't too busy or he didn't have more orders to carry out for the prosecutor. He seemed inordinately fond of his boss, despite Edgeworth being kind of a strict taskmaster, and was only too happy to talk about the latest goings-on at the police department in what Phoenix suspected was more detail than he was legally allowed.

Probably he should say something to Maya about badgering details about Edgeworth out of the detective during working hours, especially when they _were_ busy, but hey, Phoenix got something to listen to while he flipped pancakes and Maya got to indulge her weird celebrity crush. If maybe Phoenix made Gumshoe's order a little bigger than everybody else's, it was only to reward customer loyalty and keep a good thing going.

Speaking of customer loyalty, since Gumshoe had apparently been deputized to deliver their food to his boss, they'd seen a lot less of Miles Edgeworth in person. But when he did come he'd developed a bizarre habit of lingering for a few minutes after receiving his order. Each time Maya tried engaging him with generic chatter, but his answers were always noncommittal and the conversation stalled.

The first time this had happened he'd conscientiously shuffled to the side (as if they'd have had any lunchtime customers that early) and started poking at his phone with a frustrated expression. Maya had whirled, latched onto Phoenix, and dragged him to the window with a scarily intent expression.

Phoenix's loud "Maya, what—" had startled the prosecutor into looking up at Maya pointing rudely and both of them staring. He'd blanched, turned a funny pink, and fled in justifiable consternation.

They'd watched him stride away until he was out of sight, then Maya turned on Phoenix with a disapproving frown. Phoenix's only response had been a puzzled shrug, not sure what had just happened.

Since then Maya had been glaring at him whenever the prosecutor stopped by and wasn't looking at her, having escaped her attempt at chit-chat to hover by the side of the truck with his phone and a frown. Each time Phoenix only shook his head in confusion. Edgeworth clearly didn't come by the truck for conversation, and seeing as he was a busy man he probably lingered to get a bit of a breather from the office. If he found shelter hanging around the truck Phoenix was inclined to let him; the man deserved a break. And if Maya was mad he didn't want to talk to her, she only had herself to blame after that display.

* * *

"Excuse me, are you busy?"

Phoenix glanced up from his phone and nearly knocked it over, fumbling for a few seconds before he'd got a firm grip on it.

"N-No! Sorry, no! Not busy at all, what can I get you? The usual?"

Instead of answering, Edgeworth leaned into the window, squinting as he peered into the interior of the truck. Phoenix's automatic smile died and he peeked over his shoulder, wondering what the prosecutor was looking for. He was even earlier than usual, so Maya wasn't even in yet.

Apparently satisfied by whatever he'd found, Edgeworth straightened and carefully smoothed his cravat.

"No, I was- That is, I want to ask if you like any other kinds of food."

Phoenix blinked. It was weird for customers to make unorthodox demands, his menu being extremely specific and limited, but for a special regular like Miles Edgeworth Phoenix would do his best to be accommodating. So he smiled again and reached for the pad Maya scribbled orders on when they were busy.

"Well, I can't promise I'll be able to make anything with what we have in stock, but I'll certainly try my best."

Edgeworth stared at him without saying anything. The lack of reaction was certainly… off-putting. Phoenix could feel cold sweat start to form at the back of his neck, not sure what had caused the return of the laser interrogation eyes.

Before he could figure out what to say the prosecutor sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"No, you misunderstand. What I _mean_ is that—"

Phoenix's phone buzzed and he winced reflexively, knowing he'd have to interrupt. It was unlikely this early than anyone had ordered online, but he had to check anyway. Maya had read him a stern lecture on seeing to all his customers, even if he didn't like having to go through the finicky app to do it.

"Um, sorry, I have to take this."

Unsurprisingly Edgeworth looked annoyed. In fact, he looked downright murderous. Phoenix was reminded uncomfortably of joking with Maya about the prosecutor and the police being able to cover up crimes, and scrambled for his phone with sweaty hands.

It wasn't their GiveFoodMe app, it was a text from Maya.

"NICK," she'd written, "omg just ASK HIM OUT already! You've been using food to flirt with him for MONTHS put the poor man out of his misery! ┌┛ヽ(｀Д´#)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻"

Phoenix's first thought was that the table and chair flipping had been totally unnecessary. A glance at the top of the screen showed that it was well past when Maya was supposed to get in, which meant she was just standing back somewhere… Watching…? What did she—

Wait, flirting?

 _Flirting?_

Phoenix's jaw dropped as he reread the text and actually absorbed what it meant.

"I haven't been _flirting!_ "

"You haven't?"

His jaw was now somewhere on the floor realizing he'd just said that out loud. The phone buzzed in his hand again, but this was really not the time for orders _or_ Maya. Especially Maya.

Slowly, Phoenix looked up at Edgeworth, and went bright red at the expression on the other man's face. Oh, god. The eyebrow was back and paired with that smirk it was somehow… predatory.

"So you go out of your way to give extras to all your customers? That seems generous, even for you."

Phoenix gaped some more because, well, _no,_ not really. He was faithful to the punch card program, and every so often he did give extras to some of his regulars, like when he knew it was someone's birthday. But the only people who always got a little something were Detective Gumshoe and the prosecutor. The detective because, well, he talked about Edgeworth when he was around. And the prosecutor because Phoenix liked him.

Oh god.

When had wanting to cook something good for the prosecutor turned into _liking?_ Had it _always_ been liking and he just hadn't realized it?

A cough interrupted his rapidly circling thoughts.

"As I was saying…"

Phoenix blushed again because Edgeworth's face had softened into something warm and unfamiliar, and Phoenix had the sudden realization that he wanted to see _all_ the expressions Edgeworth's (Miles? Were they on first-name terms yet?) face could make.

"I'd like to take you out to eat something you won't have to cook yourself. Do you have a preference?"

"You know," Phoenix smiled, aware that it had gone all big and goofy in a way Maya always cautioned him not to show to customers because they'd probably take advantage of him. "I'm actually not very picky. Why don't you surprise me?"


End file.
